Think back to when you were a newlywed. Everything was fresh, new and exciting, wasn't it? Your new husband or wife was this exciting, alluring, passionate, sexy person, and you were the same. Everything you experienced together was wonderful. Even scrubbing the kitchen floor or taking out the garbage was an adventure, because you were doing it together.
If you've been married for a while, you may be experiencing a dip in that passion and excitement. It doesn't necessarily have to be that way, though. If the kids, work responsibilities and more have left you distracted and not paying attention to your marriage, it may be floundering. You and your spouse can work together, to fix it. How? Below are some suggestions.
1> Establish a regular date night, once a week.
Think back to when you and your spouse were first dating. Remember how you spent time with each other, just focusing on each other? Do that again. Establish a regular date night where you and your spouse can reconnect as a couple — just you, no kids. What did you talk about when you were on those first dates? Your hopes and dreams, your plans for the future, right? You may be a few years older than you were when you went on those first dates, but you still have hopes and dreams; you know you do. Reconnect with them, and with each other, by spending some time completely alone as a couple.
2> Extend that regular date night to the bedroom.
Your date night doesn't just have to end with the date. Make it a regular Friday or Saturday night event and send the kids off to friends' houses, Grandma’ and Grandpa's house, etc. Continue to focus on each other as a couple, this time in the bedroom. Remember, intimacy was once fresh and new between the two of you, too. You can make it that way again. To spice things up, invest in some sexy lingerie and draw a bubble bath just for two.
3> Keep talking.
It can be very easy to get distracted with kids, work, and other responsibilities, such that you quit talking to each other except in the most utilitarian way. Stay connected as a couple by keeping communication open. Don't assume that your spouse should simply "know" what you want; after all, you don't always know what he or she wants, do you? That's a great way to breed resentment, and it's not necessary. Keep talking, and stay open with each other.
4> Don't take each other for granted.
Your spouse is someone who's always around, and it can become very easy to take him or her for granted. Don't. Keep showing your appreciation to each other. Flowers and gifts are great, but small touches of appreciation throughout the day are even better, and they don't cost anything. Leave a note that says "I love you" on the bathroom mirror, or steal a surprise kiss in a dark corner just like you did when you were first going out.
Small things show appreciation every single day, and keep everything fresh and new. I hope most couples could be proud of saying "we are still quite sweet just as we were newlyweds". If so, you are successful in marriage.
